IT was interesting to hear Tony Blair’s plans to build a sense of respect amongst people in the UK and wonder if he had ever cast a jealous eye towards France?
Although the French way of life has been rocked by the violent riots of last year one of the things that appeals to many about France is that manners and good behaviour still count.
I have often heard people say that France today is like Britain was in the 50s and although some things were not right back then, there is no doubt the appeal is still strong.
Many opponents of the French way said the riots showed the system was rotten, and to an extent they are right as I think they were a backlash against distant politicians and an over aggressive police force.
After the troubles many of the interviews I read and heard from the estates featured young men expressing their anger at being classed as second-class citizens, but they still addressed people in the polite ‘vous’ form.
Of course it is only natural to hang on to the halcyon days of the past and believe that things were so much better a few decades ago, but France today has held on to the small things that soon add up to mean so much more.
If you pop into the local bakery or shop the first thing expected of you is to say ‘bonjour’, often very quietly if you’re a Brit, but the actual action brings inclusiveness.
And how many times have you passed shop staff in the street, out of office hours you might say, and they still say ‘bonjour’ as you walk along the street?
But it is not just a quaint village thing, as an order at the deli counter in the biggest supermarket will still start with a courteous welcome, or shop owners on busy streets will nod, smile and ‘madame’ or ‘monsieur’ you.
I think one of the big differences between the UK and France is that children from a very young age know the boundaries when out with their parents.
I sat in restaurants with twenty or thirty people as a chatty group, whilst the children were sat at their own table waiting to be served and then eat at the same time as us.
They often helped the younger ones cut their food, pour water into glasses and even prepare the salad. Once they had eaten then they could play but usually group games or even on occasion little musical shows.
You don’t see many ball pools in French restaurants.
Maybe the important role the family plays in French life is the key as parents and children have the time to sit around the dining table together, so the kids slowly pick up the correct way to act and do things.
Whether the riots are a sign that things are changing for the worse in France is unclear, but something must be right as the appeal of living in ‘courteous France’ and not ‘chav Britain’ still draws many across the Channel.
What do you think? Can Britain earn back its respect and what can it lean from France? Leave a comment below.
Comments
9 responses to “Leaving ‘chav Britain’ behind”
Craig, you are right about the children in UK v the children in France. The house we bought was owned by a family with a 13 year old daughter and a 12 year old son. Our grandchildren in theUK are the same age. The 13 year french girl was so respectful to mum, no earrings, piercings, hair extensions, tattoos etc unlike our 13 year old granddaughter (bless her). also the 12 year french boy was “very young” for his age, probably how a 12 years old should be, no x box, mountain bike, TV in bedroom, spots, – he was out with dad most of the time, hunting, fishing, swimming, climbing, etc. the emphasis on family like is very much stronger in france than UK. no watching soaps whilst eating meals, sitting at tables with good manners, respect for elders. all things that sadly have been lost in UK.
There is no possibility in the next decade of UK remotely approaching France in the ‘respect’ debate. As you make it abundantly clear, it starts with parental control and regretfully I can see nothing on the horizon that will change this. Rather the reverse is true, the depressing fact is that the gap is going to widen. Thats why many Brits prefer the French way of life. Sad but true
When visiting France many years ago before we lived here we were traveling on a train.
Two elderly French ladies were discussing manners the verdict was
tous le monde dit
Bonjour
s’il vous plait
merci
au’revoir
Now when visiting England and out shopping at the till it seems very strange not to be spoken to.
merci et a bien tot
Most ill mannered behavior exhibited by english children stems i believe from the cross pollination of american culture and that fact that most parents these days regard their children as an encumberance.
What you have described as the French way of life really does sound like Britian in the 1950s or something. I don’t see what is actually wrong with most aspects of modern lifestyle. I’m 14, I have a computer, a mountain bike, and I wear casual sports clothing (tracksuits/trainers) and style my hair. I also often watch TV while eating, we don’t all sit round the table like a 1950s family, and my Dad is almost always at work when it’s “tea time” anyway. I’m not very physically active, but I don’t spend all my time in front of the TV, I do a bit of web development and computer programming, and I also go out with mates.
I don’t see how this makes me an ill-mannered person, because I respect other people and have personal moral values.
When it comes to school, we still have to address teachers as Mr or Mrs but there’s a sense of informality and trust. Normally, teachers will speak to us on fairly informal terms because we are seen more as young adults rather than kids. Even they tell us it’s good to have a balance between social life (going out with friends etc.) and studying.
Would this be seen as a slacking of society in France?
I think you may actually mean “CHAV ENGLAND” The CHAV scene seems to be a singularly English phenomenom.
Steve
Dear craig,
I am greek by birth and we were also taught to eat first and play after and helping our younger siblings. We were also taught manners and respect for elders and other people’s property. If you stole something in Cyprus it was not the police or the victim you feared if caught it was your own parents, because you would bring shame on the family, in small communities this was taboo. Manners and respect in England now are virtually non existent, it’s a case of I’m all right jack. I am moving to the Gers next May and am looking forward to waving GOODBYE to old blighty for good.
Hi Andreas,
What you say is true there seems to be little in the way of respect left in the UK these days. However, I would beg to differ with you regarding the generalisation.
I raised my three sons with the objective view that they should have respect for and towards their fellow humanity and I think that my wife and I did a good job too. There is a tendency to lump everyone together when labelling. I know many people in the UK who do not fall into the I’m alright Jack category, so whilst there is evidence that there has been a general fall in social standards it isn’t the case with everyone only the cases that the media report upon. As we all know good news is no news in the UK.
I note that you are moving here, don’t expect paradise here. I have lived and worked in France for 8 years and I and my wife return to the UK for good in July. France is a great place for a holiday home but as to the rest? The jury is still out as far as I am concerned.
Good luck in France,
Regards,
Steve
There seems to be quite a bit of “I hate Britain so I’m going to live in France” stuff about these days.
My husband and I came to live in France over four years ago, the idea was to have an adventure before we were too old to do so.
Well, we moved to France tried to integrate, fine with immediate neighbours and so forth. Beyond that? Forget it, the French appear to be lacking in warmth, the administration is obstructive and downright unhelpful. My husband works in a self-employed capacity and the attendant social charges levied against the self-employed in France are an immense financial burden.
At work my hubby found that beyond the superficial politeness of his French work colleagues, underneath there exists a seething world of jealousy, spite and a desire and willfulness to do as much harm to the other guy as is possible without being discovered.
My hubby’s boss also expected him to engage in the normal sycophantic posturing expected by any French boss!! As much chance of that as hell freezing over – to quote my hubby. But these are normal working conditions in France we have been assured by our French friends.
We have also found sadly, that the French are distant and disdainful and condescending a charge that is often levelled at the middle classes of the UK.
We have decided that enough is enough and rather than waste our time on this planet trying to get to know, understand and like a nation that does not like its self nor anyone else for that matter, we are going back home where we belong, it’s home and we have dicovered that despite the many shortcomings of the UK we love it, warts and all.
So for all you out there in the process of moving here, I’m sorry but it’s too late for you, you’re already committed. But for those of you in the process of being seduced by the obvious superficial charms of life in la belle France, take the advice of someone who used to love the idea and concept of a life in France – CHOOSE SOMEWHERE ELSE – before it’s too late.
All the best,
Chris