So you think you want to move to France?

I WOULD imagine many of us have moved home at some time or another and for varying reasons, writes Coral Luke.

Whether it be for work, to have more space or as an investment, you decided a move would be a pretty good idea.

But for some people a move is often undertaken in response to a negative situation rather than a positive one, and usually it never solves the problems that they believed would disappear in a new environment.

It is challenging enough if you are moving to a new home in your own country, but to move to France, or anywhere else, and think it will solve everything is another matter.

Whenever I have moved house, invariably the task of ploughing through the loft or garage is part and parcel of the move. Then my husband and I have to decide what to keep and what to send to the charity shop or boot sale.

We have the ‘special’ items that are precious to us from our children’s childhood and family photos, otherwise he says “if we haven’t used it in the last year we don’t need it”.

When we moved from our first house in France to the one we are in now we had boxes that had never been opened, so he had that ‘I told you so’ look on his face.

This baggage is something many people can relate to, wanting to hold on to items of sentimental value, but other baggage that we acquire weighs us down and makes it difficult to move on in our lives as well as causing us stress we could well do without.

I have come across people who have moved to France due to various reasons, and in many cases not for the right ones.

If, as one person told me, there are relationship problems, either between a couple or a family, the problem will not disappear just because you move across the Channel.

If you have read those love stories in a magazine where a couple fall out and the girl/boy move abroad to get over the love of their lives only to meet in a café, or on a sandy beach because the other came looking for them or happened to be on holiday and love was rekindled for them to live happily ever after; forget it.

It is a writer’s imagination.

People who have financial problems will not solve them by skipping the country. Running away from them is not a solution because they can catch up with you.

One person I spoke to thought they had managed to evade the ever increasing debts they were acquiring. By fleeing the country they thought they could make a new start: wrong.

People from H.M. Revenue and Customs to private agencies have ways and means of tracing people. They got his address somehow and a letter landed in his box. He has now made arrangements to pay back his creditors at an affordable rate. Agencies can also liaise with a company in France to exercise their rights of recovery.

The troubles one lady had nearly brought her to a nervous breakdown. She was a good listener and everyone brought their problems to her, unfortunately there was no one prepared to help her cope when she had problems of her own.

In a desperate effort to ‘get away from it all’ she moved to a village in France. Unfortunately her language skills were basic and she could barely communicate with her neighbours.

She still carried the baggage from her old life and it weighed heavily on her. She started to learn the language and became friendly with a neighbour who would chat and have a coffee. Then the neighbour started telling this kindly lady all her problems.

With a lack of vocabulary skills and not wanting to be rude she listened to all the moans and groans. She found she had to take herself off for walks or go for drives to avoid her neighbour, the whole exercise of moving to get away from other people’s problems and deal with her own had been spoiled.

When considering a move to a new life you can’t run away from something; just run to one, for the right reason.

Before even considering a move shake off the baggage. Part from a relationship on good terms and leave doors of communication open.

Don’t be emotionally blackmailed into staying put but gently and assertively say you are moving and if it doesn’t work out you will move back.

Add that people are always welcome to visit and you will do the same. If the cracks are too big for that write a letter giving an address and telephone number and say you hope eventually things will get better and keep updating addresses and telephone numbers.

Before trying to beat the bailiffs sort out any financial problems quickly and if necessary get expert help.

If you are adamant about moving set up a repayment plan before moving and keep creditors advised of your address. You might have to have an British bank account for payments but there is no problem in having a bank account in the UK with a French address, we have one for our pensions to be paid into.

If you find you are the shoulder people cry on you often have to be cruel to be kind.

If you are going through personal problems tell your friends that you would love to help but at the moment you have too much on your plate and you need to rest for a while. If you have been prescribed a medication just say it makes you sleepy and you are not able to get out and about and if they visit you might fall asleep while chatting.

Good friends will take the hint, if they don’t they are not good friends.

My daughter came over with her children after her marriage breakup. It has taken a year to work through all the troubles she brought with her but with help from her family both in France and England, as well as the friends she has made, she is making progress.

If you move to France, try to leave the baggage in the departure lounge, because if it travels with you it could cost you more than extra airport fees, it could cost you your health, sanity and happiness.

Do you have any helpful advice to others who are looking to make a move to France, or maybe you’ve tackled your own problems and troubles? Please feel free to leave a comment below.

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